Aspherical this time final 12 months, I used to be actually excited for New Yr’s. After spending a decade of my life on parole, I rang in 2021 as a free man. It was a giant deal for me. I deliberate to save cash and purchase some land and a pleasant cell house. I wished to journey too, perhaps to a giant metropolis in California or New York. The furthest I’ve ever been from house in Monticello, Arkansas, is a seven-hour drive east to Auburn, Alabama. While you’re on parole, you may’t transfer round and go locations such as you usually would. You’re simply caught. I wished to alter that.
Monticello is a small city. Solely about 9,000 folks reside right here, and the primary retailer we now have is a Walmart. There aren’t too many roles and there isn’t an entire lot to do, particularly when you’ve got a felony document. The neighborhood I reside in has gotten rather a lot worse prior to now couple a long time. There are extra shootings and extra medicine. The primary time I went to the penitentiary, I used to be barely 20 years previous. I shot at an undercover police officer and was convicted of aggravated assault. Lower than six months after I used to be launched, I used to be arrested for promoting medicine. A number of years later, I used to be incarcerated once more on one other dope cost.
I bought medicine for the rationale most individuals do: to earn cash. I used to be the second youngest of 5 youngsters on my mom’s aspect. Our mother and father appreciated to run the streets, so sadly we needed to increase ourselves. Three of my siblings joined the navy, however my older sister and I went down a unique path. I wasn’t even scared to go to jail as a result of I believed it might make me more durable. I match proper in after I obtained there. My homeboys had been already incarcerated.
However while you spend greater than half of your life in jail, jail or on conditional launch, you find yourself lacking rather a lot. After I obtained out of jail for the third time, I lastly noticed how promoting medicine affected my household, particularly my mom. I used to be watching her slowly fade away from drug use, and I didn’t need to be locked up when she handed. I felt like 2021 could be a giant 12 months for me as a result of I might lastly do issues with out anybody’s permission.
Issues obtained off to a great begin. In January, I began working on the hardwood manufacturing unit in my city. I labored on a machine known as a knot noticed, the place you pull boards of wooden by means of and lower them. I managed to avoid wasting up a bunch of cash, too. However at some point this summer time, as a substitute of chopping by means of the wooden, I sliced my hand. I used to be in shock. The blade practically lower my hand in half, and triggered nerve injury that required surgical procedure. Since then, issues have simply gone downhill. The cash I had saved up has vanished paying payments. I’m going to bodily remedy twice per week, and the drive to get there and again takes longer than the appointment.
It’s irritating to work so exhausting and have issues play out like this, however I attempt to keep centered on being grateful for what I do have. It’s a blessing to only be out of jail and to be alive. I attempt to assist out others the place I can. I give the children on my block cash when I’ve further. I drive my nice nephew to the varsity bus cease nearly each morning. The opposite day within the automotive, I turned again and requested him if he brushed his hair. It might appear small, however I didn’t have somebody doing this for me after I was rising up — so I attempt to be that dad or mum determine for him.
I’ve realized {that a} lengthy life isn’t promised to everybody. I see all the old-fashioned of us that had been round right here after I was a child passing away. Perhaps I’ll be fortunate to reside that lengthy. However you understand while you’re older that you simply don’t actually have that a lot time left. I’m 48 years previous now. Life has proven me to only be glad the place I’m at.
I contemplate 2021 a studying expertise in endurance. It might all the time be worse. When issues get exhausting, I pray like my mama taught me. I’ve realized to depend my blessings. I don’t want a mansion or a flowery automotive, and I do know when to stroll away from conditions earlier than they escalate.
My goals for the longer term haven’t modified. I nonetheless need some land of my very own. I feel someplace deep within the nation is likely to be good. I need a double-wide trailer so my household can reside there, with a yard large enough for my nice nieces and nephews to play in. I’ll have a few canine, too. If I save up sufficient cash, I’d even open my very own landscaping enterprise.
It simply would possibly take me a bit longer to get there.
Alfonso Cobb lives in Monticello, Arkansas. The Marshall Challenge’s Lakeidra Chavis is his niece.
